The Kel Needs a Bishie Show!
by StringynKel
Summary: Stringy and her friend Emi decide that Kel needs a Kingdom Hearts character to swoon over, and boy, do they find some good ones!


It was a dark, stormy night, and two girls were huddled in a corner, anxiously discussing… something, while another sat in another corner, glaring evilly at them. The two in the corner were oblivious that someone was watching their plotting. Let's have a look, shall we?

"No, no, no… we're gonna have to bribe him to work with us," the girl with black hair and blue streaks.

"But what about…" the one with purple streaks said.

"No, because he's too busy in Kingdom Hearts wrecking stuff, destroying hearts, and unleashing Heartless! HE'S SOOOOO BORING!"

"Remember who we're talking about, here. He could be a powerful ally," the one with purple streaks said.

"But we still need to cover all our bases. We need someone overly bubbly and cute to turn her away from the dark side, and someone dramatic and angsty-"

"FOR THE LOVE OF ERU!" the girl in the corner stood up and shouted. "I AM _NOT_ TAKING UP A _BISHIE!_ Isn't five enough? Legolas, Erik, Gerard, Lestat, and Chase. I, Kel of the Muffin Guild, do NOT! Need a bishie!"

"KEL! YOU **WILL** GET A BISHIE! AND YOU **WILL** LIKE HIM!" Emi screamed at the top of her lungs.

"EMI! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?" Kel asked in a very loud voice.

"Cause…I'm bored!" Emi said.

"Amen sister. That's the only reason we do anything!" Stringy commented.

"Can't you go be bored with _your_ bishies?" Kel asked. "They're in the closet, waiting for you." In the backround are heard a few crys of anguish and boredom.

"Well…my bishie was saved by Yuffie….AGAIN!" Emi yelled.

"And I think mine went and joined forces with You-Know-Who, Sauron, and Ansem!" Stringy moaned sadly.

"And that is why we are going to FORCE YOU INTO THIS CONVIENENTLY PLACED GAME SHOW!" Emi yelled while pointing at a really corny Valentines-ish game show. And for some reason, Bob was the host…

OooOoOooOoOobeginningthegameshowofEVIL!oOooOoOooOoOooO

" So, Kel (twitch) you are familiar with the rules of the game?" Bob said, holding a scythe.

"Yeah, yeah, ask the bachelors some random questions about triangles and the fuzziness of moogles, decide which cartoon character I get to rip limb from limb," Kel said. "Now, ON WITH MY IMPENDING MISERY!"

"HEY! WE'RE NOT CARTOONS! WE'RE VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS!" the bachelor from door #3 shouted.

"SHUT UP!" Kel yelled.

"Okay, contestant number one. What do you do in your spare time?" Bob asked.

"Um…the real question is what do YOU do in your spare time?" #1 aksed.

"Well, actually, most of the time I'm trapped in a closet with my band so we don't…HEY! DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT!

"STOP TYPING WITH THE CAPS LOCK ON!" Stringy yelled.  
"BUT YOU ARE!" Emi hollered. A look of shock spread across Stringys face. She then got up and did the denial twist, and sat back down like nothing had happened.

"Continue."

"Shouldn't I be asking the questions?" Kel asked. "After all, they are _my_ future victims."

Bachelor number one let out a high pitched yelp of terror, and bachelor number two said something about tearing him limb from limb was futile.

"Bachelor number three, you seem quiet," Kel said. "SING ME A SONG!"

"Eh, I'll pass…" Bachelor Number Three said.

"YOU'RE NO FUN! Numbah 2, same question," Kel said.

"THAT'S NOT EVEN A QUESTION!" #2 complained.

"Oh yeah huh?" Kel giggled, "Just sing a song." It seemed as if #2 was thinking long and hard on this one. He finally took a deep breathe and started.

"I AM IRON MAN! DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN blah…blah…IRON MAN!"

"What the H$#" Stringy asked. But the cuss word just so happened to be bleeped out.

"OMG! THE FCC IS BACK! RUN!" Emi shouted. Her and stringy took a couple bazookas and ran out of the room.

"Um… okay… NUMBER ONE!" Kel shouted, cackling. Another high-pitched yelp came from Bachelor #1. "DO THE CHICKEN DANCE!"

"Why can't I sing like Ansem did?" #1 whined. Gerard sighed and hit him over the head with a conveniently placed sledgehammer. "Ow…"

"Bachelor number 3," Kel said, looking at a question card, "what is your favorite species of… wooly marmoset?"

"Why am I here?" #3 asked.

"I often ask myself the same question," #2 commented.

"Same here…um…ok…Numbah One?" Kel asked. Numbah One from KND section Q walked up to Kel.

"Yes?"

"Will you get me a soda?" Kel asked.

"Here," NUmbah One said handing over a soda.

"Thanks! Ok, #1, have you ever…had weird thoughts?" Kel asked.

"Like is any of this for real or not? NO! I'M NOT INSANE LIKE ANSEM!" Sora yelled. Gerard shook his head and hit number one over the head once again.

"STOP DOING THAT!" # 1 yelled. #2 cackled evilly and opened his mouth

"#2! NO MONOLOGUING!" Mikey shouted.

"I WASN'T GOING TO! GOSH, LIKE, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO MEAN?" #2 wailed.

"Okay…" Kel said. "Let's just get this over with. I'm skipping the questions and going with #2 for now."

"YESSS!" #2 shouted, stepping out from behind a curtain. It was Ansem.

"Whoa, #2 was Ansem?" Mikey said, shocked. "I thought it was Cloud."

"No," #1 said, "Cloud is #3!" Gerard hit him again with the sledgehammer. "WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT? IT HURTS!"

"NEVER!" Gerard cackled, while hitting #1 over the head one more time.

"LOL!" Riku shouted.

"Ok…did my bishie just shout LOL?" Stringy asked.

"Um…yeah?" Emi said.

"Oh, HAHAHAHA! SORA YOU'RE SOOOO STUPID!" Riku yelled.

"SORA! I thought you loved me…and I find you on a stupid game show trying to win her attention!" Kairi yelled while pointing at Kel. Kel in turn stuck out her tounge towards Kairi and yelled with laughter.  
"THIS IS FUN! I'M RUNING PEOPLES LIVES!" Kel yelled. Ansem and his guardian were forced up to Kel by Ray.

"Nope. No gaurdian for today!" Ray said while shooing away the heartless.

"MAN! HE'S THE ONLY THING THAT COULD HELP DESTROY KEL!" Ansem shouted. "Ok, go torture that little Sora kid while I'm gone, would yah?" Ansem asked the guardian nodded and the attached itself with Sora.

"AHH! NOT AGAIN!" Sora screamed.


End file.
